


Dani Walks

by Fictionista654



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27894049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionista654/pseuds/Fictionista654
Summary: She doesn’t know how long she has. She can feel the time slipping through her fingers, and she wants to gather it up, she wants it all. She wants thousands of mornings of Jamie making tea, thousands of days in the nursery surrounded by sweet-smelling flowers, thousands of dinners at the dining room table, thousands of times to stare at Jamie and lose herself in the eyes of her love.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	Dani Walks

At night, Dani walks. Driven by some alien force, she wanders the flat. From the hallway to the kitchen, the kitchen to the sitting room, the sitting room to the bedroom, and back into the hallway.

She never used to be like this. There once was a time where she could lay her head down on the pillow and actually sleep. A time when her head belonged to her, and her alone.

But now she is different. Corrupted in a way that can’t be seen, not yet. When she looks in the mirror, she still sees herself. But she knows that one day, that will change. One day she will look into a filled bath or a shop window and see someone who is not her, and yet is her.

It’s a conundrum.

She doesn’t know how long she has. She can feel the time slipping through her fingers, and she wants to gather it up, she wants it all. She wants thousands of mornings of Jamie making tea, thousands of days in the nursery surrounded by sweet-smelling flowers, thousands of dinners at the dining room table, thousands of times to stare at Jamie and lose herself in the eyes of her love.

But one day it will change. One day—

“Dani.”

Dani jolts out of her reverie. Her fingers are trailing in the bathwater, her hair is trailing over her shoulder. She’s like an unfinished thought, and she hates that, she hates that she is constantly in this state of _becoming_.

“I’m sorry,” she says through numb lips. “I’m sorry.” How many nights has Jamie found her at the bath, staring at her reflection? How many nights has Jamie lost to worry? 

“Oh, Poppet.” Jamie wraps her arms around Dani, brushes her lips against the top of Dani’s head. “I have you now. I have you.”

Dani nestles her head into Jamie’s neck, breathes in her familiar scent, like a rose growing out of rich earth. “It hurts,” she whimpers, and she doesn’t mean to whimper, but that’s the way it comes out, so weak, so tired…

“I know it hurts,” Jamie says, rocking Dani gently. “I know. I’m here with you now. I’ve got you.” 

She rolls up her sleeve and reaches into the bath, pulls out the plug. Then she leads Dani from the bathroom to the bedroom.

Dani shakes her head, shivering violently. “I can’t go to sleep. Not yet.”

So Jamie takes Dani into the kitchen, and she puts a kettle on the stovetop before sitting next to Dani at the table. It’s a familiar ritual by now, Dani resting her head on Jamie’s shoulder as Jamie runs her fingers through her hair.

“I’m afraid,” Dani says. She didn’t mean to admit it, but there it is, terrible and true. “I’m afraid.”

And she knows that Jamie is too, she knows there’s no way that she isn’t, but Jamie just kisses Dani’s cheek and says, “We’re here right now, and that’s all that matters. We’re here right now.”

 _We’re here right now,_ thinks Dani.

Maybe it’s enough.

There are worse nights. Nights where Dani drags her nails against her skin until she draws blood. Nights where she collapses on the floor and sobs into the carpet until her tears soak it through. Nights where she stands at the window and thinks, _It would be so easy._

But Jamie is always there. Always there to clean Dani’s skin, always there to soothe her through her tears, always there to draw her back to bed.

And Dani walks. She walks and walks until her limbs grow tired and her eyes grow fuzzy and she doesn’t know what she’s doing or why, and she walks until she wants to sleep forever, and she walks until the flat spins dizzyingly around her, and she walks and walks and walks.

“Don’t you hate it?” she says to Jamie one morning as the sun spills lavishly through the kitchen window, brightening the geraniums on the sill. 

“Hate what?” Jamie says, that wrinkle between her brow that Dani always wants to kiss. 

“I don’t know.” Dani wraps her fingers around her mug. “It. Me. The walking.”

Jamie puts down the dish she’s been wiping and marches over to Dani. “Listen,” she says, putting her hands on either side of Dani’s face and leaning in so their noses touch. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy, right?”

Despite herself, Dani laughs. “So you don’t…it doesn’t bother you?”

“It bothers me that you hurt,” Jamie says simply. “But what you do to express that hurt? That’s not up to you, love. It’s just the way it is. And I love you, every bit of you, no matter what.” 

“No matter what,” Dani repeats. Then she adds, almost to herself, “All we have is the present.”

“That’s right,” Jamie says. “And it’s a beautiful day.”


End file.
